Bienvenue.

This blog is a very tiny window into my blogging life. A narrow, frosted window; the kind you usually see at the dentist's office to shield from view the impending torture slowly deviating toward your mouth.

Unfortunately, most of my blogging content is too personal to put up publicly, and I feel bad because 99.9% of the people I mention it to won't ever have access to it. So I made a public blog. It has resulted in the debacle that is this account - a superficial outpouring in humorously obscure, skewed ways.

Saturday, November 29, 2008

Bruce Lee Plays Ping Pong with Nunchucks



It's a commercial for a Bruce Lee special edition Nokia phone.

Felix Zenger - Beatbox



Shitttt man, listen to those scratches...

Friday, November 28, 2008

Kim (formerly Tim) Petras



Think she's hot? Yeah, well, frick man, so do I.

Say hello to Kim Petras, formerly Tim Petras, a German teenager who is an aspiring pop artist.

Petras is well-known for having undergone male to female gender transitioning from an early age. In 2008 she was signed to Joyce Records and released online her first single "Last Forever" which became popular on YouTube and Myspace with her songs being listened to 60,000 and 46,000 times respectively. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kim_Petras).

Listening to her songs on Myspace (http://www.myspace.com/kimilinlein), I think they're shit, but it's amazing to see just how far hormone therapy has come. I mean, look at how absolutely terrific she looks. if I hadn't seen this:



And consquently was intrigued enough to google it, I wouldn't have thought much on her had I passed her picture on the 'net.

Power Thirst

Power Thirst



Power Thirst (the Black Version)



Power Thirst (the Gay version)

Thursday, November 27, 2008

Haircut:

Hey guys. So I really want to change my hairstyle - what do you guys think? I'm leaning toward number three, but leave a comment and tell me what you think. I was thinking about going extremely short (almost bob-like), but I always end up missing my long hair every time I cut it, so I'm definitely going to keep some major length.

No worries -- I realize they're all super Asian, but you know, I'm sticking with what looks good.

And to all those readers (/coughcreepers) that read this and make comments about it to me in real life, I'll see you lovelies on Friday.


STYLE 1.


------------------

STYLE 2.


-----------------

STYLE 3.



Here are the most recent pictures of me. I look like this (I'm the Asian one, for the record):





My hair is really long now, so I've taken to just shoving it behind a headband on a normal day. Example:

Monday, November 24, 2008

/kitty palm face

For future record, when in conversation "/kitty palm face" is referenced, I am referring to this amazing bundle of joy:

/kitty palm face

Donald Duck vs. Satan

Adam demonstrates how (and explains why) helium turns you into Donald Duck, and sulfur hexafluoride into Satan.

MAC Monogram Luxe Launch

MAC has been having all these launches planned that I read the info for, and I'm not really all that gung-ho about. With the release of the Holiday 2008 collection, I was severely disappointed with everything but one lipgloss set, and a couple of the eyeshadow palates. /disgruntled look.

And yes, I'm blogging about makeup. I've probably spent a good $1000+ so far in the last year and a half on MAC. When my collection seems decent (Temptalia owns us all by far), I'll make a collection post. If some person out there can make a thousand and one posts about Nike shoes, I can blog about makeup.



















I for one, am finally excited. It's probably because it's gold themed. =) Pictures from Temptalia.

Sunday, November 23, 2008

Spanish Romance

After picking up a real guitar for real for the first time in years, and the first time since my Guitar Hero days (in preparation for playing the tune Twinkle Twinkle Little Star to a kindergarten class for my clinical - ughhh, clinical...), I've realized I've gained an incredible amount of control over my body since the last time I attempted to play.

As a kid, I never had much aptitude for hand-eye-foot coordination sports because of my lack of body control.

But frick, I've picked up and played a few rather simple songs today with ease. I remember fingering used to be a lot more difficult on the guitar for me. I credit Guitar Hero. It's probably because I spent an entire week trying to beat Slash on Expert sometime before May. Alas, my skill has deteriorated, but this is definitely the first song on my list to master. It's quite the classic, and it's a heartbreaker song for a girl if a boy plays it and they've never heard it before. Seriously. You will wrap a girl around your finger if you can sing and play guitar, promise (it will work for a bit, anyway).

Unfortunately for you, I already knew the song. Sorry, Mr. Darcy. =) /lovelovelove.







Version 2:

Community Nursing

Ugh. Clinical for community nursing sucks balls. Seriously. I always feel like I'm dragging my feet sluggishly through the mud every time I go through each clinical day. Like, watching vaginal exams done by doctors and nurses attracts my interest way more than this stuff.

/groan.

Don't get me wrong - community nursing is great. It really is. And benefits a lot of people. But it's only great for some nurses. Who are interested in this type of shit--er, stuff. So: for some people. Who aren't me.

Ughhhhhhhhhhhh.

I miss my c-sections. Give me a vaginal birth any day over this prolonged lame torture.

23 days and counting.

Friday, November 21, 2008

Twilight the Movie

WARNING: SPOILERS + BIAS.


Wow, watching Twilight made me want to jump a man or something, because the men in this movie exude some serious sex appeal.

Edward was sex on a stick (his eyebrows are amazing). No better way to put it. Like, just... damnnnnnn.

Bella was okay. /shrugs. Seriously, you'll probably say the same thing.

Mike was a cutie pie foshizzles.

Eric was a pretty good lookin' Asian (I did not expect him to be Asian), and... the black guy that almost hit Bella with his car (sorry, I forgot his name)? He was sexy too. What a very good looking cast.

Jacob was aiiteee. I dunno, not really my type. Very white teeth though. Bleach was his teeth's best friend or something during the production of this movie, because those babies shone like a diamond in the rough.

Others notes:

The Cullen Family was very nice portrayed photogenically. Carlisle was a great representation of the book. A little fake with the almost-peroxide, but what can you do? Esme is played by Eva from Grey's Anatomy!

Rosalie is a poorly portrayed bitch and Emmett made me LOL at the baseball hat.

Alice is cute. I think her character can work well, but I imagined her to be way more prepubescent or adolescent like in appearance. Jasper looked like he was high. On meth. All the time. Although his hair was quite nice.

And if my adopted siblings were that hot, I'd probably want to date them too.


What shitty shitty acting though.

Like, the toilet and this movie seemed to have been friends at one point in time.

Dialogue was abysmal. Terrible. I would have cried had I not been so amused by the insanity surrounding me (the fangirls were ridiculous - there was a girl who had been there since 2:30pm; the movie started at 10:00pm. In her defense, there have been more extreme cases [read: Star Wars, Harry Pothead], but the squeals and the giggles, and the "awwing"... /palmface).

If I didn't have any background knowledge on this book, this movie would have been complete shit. Seriously.

Plot line had too many holes. The transitions between scenes were terribly introduced. Failure of proper explanation. There was no depth to the characters, no chance for real amazing character development (Take for example the character development that went into the Joker for The Dark Night. Wasn't it just mindblowing?).

Also, no chance for the audience to completely take in what the fuck was going on. Everything moved around too fucking fast with no real solid explanation. The camera panning was too shaky (the Director of Cinematography should be shot for such shitty shots, but they're still probably going to make a killing with this movie). Bad CGI, bad green screen causing the special effects to be severely meh. And if you didn't know, meh is now officially a word in the dictionary.

Actors? Physically awesome. Acting? Awesomely terrible.

Despite this though, I didn't really go in to this movie with severely high expectations. I personally think this series has a ridiculous fangirl base. Like, insane fucking fangirls (I happen to actually not mind crazy fangirls, considering I used to be one myself. But some of these chicks made me want to strangle them).

I personally think Twilight is really overrated in a sense.

I think it's a great book series, don't get me wrong - but I believe that there are better vampire-esque stories out there. The only reason this movie is going to make Top 10 (and it IS going to make Top 10), is because of all the fucking fangirls. Jebussss.

The actors themselves stated that they didn't realize just how big this movie was going to be until they attended Comic Con. Attending Comic Con, if you're not from San Diego, is almost like doing mecca for nerds. Seriously. I need to attend this convention one day in order to satiate my inner nerd. And it's good they realized just how crazy we can be.

But I digress.

SO, even with my low expectations, I thought this movie was fairly decent though. I laughed my head off at some of the retardedness of the females in this movie (cliched acting, anyone?), and inserted the verbal cues when appropriate ("A ku ku ku"). I personally don't think people who haven't read the book at all will really enjoy this movie (if you haven't read this book and don't think this movie is shit, then you don't have a good taste in movies). The last time I read this series was maybe in junior high to high school period, so it's been a decent number of years. With that background knowledge though, I was able to piece together a number of the nuances and plot lines within the book.


Ratings:
  • Plot line: 5.5/10
  • Acting: 4/10
  • Edward Cullen (appearance): 10/10
  • Isabella Swan (appearance): 8/10
  • Forks: 8/10
  • Special Effects: 4/10
  • Fangirl involvement: 11/10
  • Fanboy involvement: 3/10
  • Overall impression of the whole movie: 4.5/10



NOTE: That make out scene between Bella and Edward in her bedroom? With all that fangirl anticipation? Hothothot.




AND AHAHAHAHAA:

Sunday, November 16, 2008

The Couple (everyone hates to be around)

You know what I'd hate be ever be classified as?

The Couple everyone hates to be around.

You know, the one that basically gropes each other in public, makes out non-stop during movies, and focuses on no one but themselves when placed in a group situation.

It's different if you're just with your bf/gf in a public place. Like, I am a big fan of the PG-13 PDA (public displays of affection), such as handholding and light kissing in public. Sure, whatever.

I am also a big fan of the from-behind hugs. I "awww" inside of my head when I see it (actually, I've never ever done that, but if I was like that, I probably would). I don't even mind the long-standing tonging in a public corner as long as you're out of my feild of vision, and I have someone else to talk to. Sure, French kiss away.

However, there is a limit.

It's worse when The Couple never listens to the hints or remarks thrown their way about it. No one will actually tell them, "Stop fucking making out in front of us, it sickens us," because we're your friends and to do that would be a little harsh. However, hints are classified as:
  • "Get a room."
  • "I like always seeing your back, I really do."
  • "Eugh."
  • "They're at it again."

So please.

Take a hint.

Control yourself.

Because whether or not you know it, everyone knows you as The Couple they hate to be around.

And people will start avoiding you.

And not inviting you to things. Because you'll always bring your special someone with you.

And they'll dread you guys coming when they inevitably do invite you (because we're obligated as friends), and will invariably talk about The Couple and their actions behind their back.

EXAMPLE:


Tuesday, November 4, 2008

Canada, yooooo.

For a while, they've been talking about how if Obama wins, Canada's economy will be screwed over in the long run. Well, maybe not screwed over per se, but the Canadian economy would have been better if McCain won.

It is wrong for me to truly believe that this election transcends this issue to a point? I mean, if McCain wins in the States (which is looking like a dimmer prospect more and more as CNN political kahunas tear the election apart), I truly believe that the United States is fucked to a point. Seriously.

I don't think the implication of how much change the world really needs has truly been understood and fathoms on a truly national level, or even a North American international level, for a long time. But finally, so many people are sitting up and hearing about the issues due to this election. If Obama wins, it will be the stepping stone for a truly progressive world. Everything from LBGT rights, to support for environmentally conscience resources, to student rights, to First Nations support. A candidate has finally stepped forward that isn't limited by the borders or religions, or race, or education, or financial bigotry.

The only thing that truly bugs me is his view on world support. While I understand the fact that a majority of his campaign has rallied to the notes of bringing back "American jobs to the American people back to America," I truly believe that the Western world is pulling too far away from the Third World countries of this Earth. The gap is not so big between the rich and poor class, as it is from the First and Third World Nations.

There's all this focus on biofuel research, when the utilization of soy crops, or whatever crops leads me to question why to focus on this when there is a global food shortage. I told someone that there was a gobal food shortage the other day, and they looked me as if I was crazy. Of course, being in Alberta makes many people in this province actually truly ignorant to so many world issues. Here, we complain about how much the provinical government is getting from the oil companies but how much is it really coming back to the Albertan residents? Regardless of this, we have so much fucking money here, that the provinical budget of Alberta is almost the same as the NATIONAL budget of the Philippines.

Darfur.

You know, I was talking about the melanin-contamination for the milk the other day to someone else, and they looked at me curiously. I want to shake some people so hard sometimes, they're so ignorant to the deaths and suffering of millions of people.

Those are just three issues of many.

But to achieve the truly global neighbor-helping-neighbor idea that will pull the rest of the world out of this will take the United States to truly find itself first, before it starts helping other people.

And don't get me started on the turnout rate for the Canadian Federal election in comparison to the American one...



Sunday, November 2, 2008

Helllooo, President Nicolas Sarkozy

A Montreal Radio Station prank calls Sarah Palin pretending to be French President Nicolas Sarkozy. Oh my goodness.



Transcript Extracts:


Sarkozy: Yes, hello, Governor Palin. Yes hello, Mrs Governor?
Palin: Hello, this is Sarah, how are you?
S: Fine, and you? This is Nicolas Sarkozy speaking, how are you?
P: Oooooh, it's so good, its so good to hear you. Thank you for calling us.
S: Oh, it's a pleasure.
P: Thank you sir, we have such great respect for you, John McCain and I. We love you! And thank you for taking a few minutes to talk to me.
S: I follow your campaigns closely with my special American adviser Johnny Hallyday (NOTE: Hallyday is a French singer and actor), you know?
P: Yes! Good.


S: You see, I got elected in France because I'm real and you seem to be someone who's real as well.
P: Yes. Yeah. Nicolas, we so appreciate this opportunity
S: You know I see you as a president one day, you too.
P: (Giggle) Maybe in eight years! (Giggle)


S: Well, I hope for you. You know, we have a lot in common because personally one of my favourite activities is to hunt, too.
P: Oh, very good! We should go hunting together!
S: Exactly, we could go try hunting by helicopter like you did. I never did that. Like we say in French, on pourrait tuer des bebe phoques, aussi. (One could kill all the baby seals).
P: Well, I think we could have a lot of fun together, as we're getting work done. We can kill two birds with one stone that way.
S: I just love killing those animals. Mmm, mmm, take away life, that is so fun!
Palin: (Giggle)
S: I'd really love to go, so long as we don't bring Vice President Cheney.
P: Noooo, I'll be a careful shot, yes.


S: Yes, you know we have a lot in common also, because except that from my house I can see Belgium. That's kind of less interesting than you.
P: Well, see, we're right next door to different countries that we all need to be working with, yes.


S: Some people said in the last days - and I thought that was mean - that you weren't experienced enough in foreign relations and you know that's completely false. That's the thing I said to my great friend, the prime minister of Canada, Stef Carse (NOTE: Stef Carse is a Canadian singer).
P: Well, he's doing fine, too, and yeah, when you come into a position underestimated it gives you an opportunity to prove the pundints (NOTE: she calls pundits pundints) and the critics wrong. You work that much harder.


S: I was wondering because you are so next to him, one of my good friends, the prime minister of Quebec, Mr Richard Z Sirois (NOTE: hes a Canadian comedian), have you met him recently? Did he come to one of your rallies?
P: I haven't seen him at one of the rallies but it's been great working with the Canadian officials in my role as Governor. We have a great co-operative effort there as we work on all of our resource-development projects. You know, I look forward to working with you and getting to meet you personally and your beautiful wife. Oh my goodness! You've added a lot of energy to your country with that, ha, beautiful family of yours.
S: Thank you very much. You know my wife Carla would love to meet you, even though you know she was a bit jealous that I was supposed to speak to you today.
P: (Giggle) Well, give her a big hug for me.
S: You know my wife is a popular singer and a former hot top model and she's so hot in bed. She even wrote a song for you.
P: Oh my goodness! I didn't know that!
S: Yes, in French it's called Le Rouge A Levres Sur Un Cochon (NOTE: it means Lipstick on a Pig), or if you prefer in English, Joe the Plumber...it's his life, Joe the Plumber.
P: Maybe she understands some of the unfair criticism but I bet you she is such a hard worker, too, and she realizes you just plough through that criticism.


S: I just want to be sure. I dont quite understand the phenomenon Joe the Plumber. That's not your husband, right?
P: That's not my husband but he's a normal American who just works hard and doesn't want government to take his money.
S: Yes, yes, I understand we have the equivalent of Joe the Plumber in France. It's called Marcel, the guy with bread under his armpit.
P: Right, that's what it's all about, its the middle class and government needing to work for them. You're a very good example for us here.


S: I must say Governor Palin, I love the documentary they made on your life. You know, Hustler's Nailin' Palin?
P: Ohh, good, thank you! Yes.
S: That was really edgy.
P: (Giggle) Well, good.


Full Transcript (thanks, Jeff): http://www.theglobeandmail.com/servlet/story/RTGAM.20081101.wpalintranscript1011/BNStory/usElection2008/home?cid=al_gam_mostemail

You Can Vote However You Like

I absolutely love this:



Obama on the left
McCain on the right
We can talk politics all night
And you can vote however you like
You can vote however you like, yeah

Democratic left
Republican right
November 4th we decide
And you can vote however you like
You can vote however you like, yeah

(McCain supporters)
McCain is the man
Fought for us in Vietnam
You know if anyone can
Help our country he can
Taxes droppin low
Dont you know oils gonna flow
Drill it low
I'll show our economy will grow

McCain's the best candidate
With Palin as his running mate
They'll fight for gun rights, pro life,
The conservative right
Our future is bright
Better economy in site
And all the world will feel our military might

(Obama supporters)
But McCain and Bush are real close right
They vote alike and keep it tight
Obama's new, he's younger too
The Middle Class he will help you
He'll bring a change, he's got the brains
McCain and Bush are just the same
You are to blame, Iraq's a shame
Four more years would be insane

Lower your Taxes - you know Obama Won't
PROTECT THE LOWER CLASS - You know McCain won't!
Have enough experience - you know that they don't
STOP GLOBAL WARMING - you know that you won't

I want Obama
FORGET OBAMA
Stick with McCain and you're going to have some drama
We need it
HE'LL BRING IT
He'll be it
YOU'LL SEE IT
We'll do it
GET TO IT
Let's move it
DO IT!

Obama on the left
McCain on the right
We can talk politics all night
And you can vote however you like
You can vote however you like, yeah

Democratic left
Republican right
November 4th we decide
And you can vote however you like, I said
You can vote however you like, yeah

I'm talking big pipe lines, and low gas prices
Below $2.00 that would be nice

But to do it right we gotta start today
Finding renewable ways that are here to stay

I want Obama
FORGET OBAMA,
Stick wit McCain you gone have some drama
MORE WAR IN IRAQ
Iran he will attack
CAN'T BRING OUR TROOPS BACK
We gotta vote Barack!

Obama on the left
McCain on the right
We can talk politics all night
And you can vote however you like, I said
You can vote however you like, yeah

Democratic left
Republican right
November 4th we decide
And you can vote however you like, I said
You can vote however you like, yeah