OCD.

I just finished really studying mood and anxiety disorders.

Seeing a caring thought like this actually warms my heart.

Nursing: everything you see within its realm will change the world perspective for you.

Very bad, bad poety, last final, and woo nursing.

I have slept on the couches in the Student's Union Building (SUB) twice this week. I have pulled one all-nighter, and one semi-all-nighter for the end of my 6W1 finals. Showers are the greatest thing ever.

Why do I always do this shit to myself? Fucking procrastinating the hell out of everything related to school. Like, I'm supposed to be taking a full course load this year, but I managed to already take the required PoliSci, Philosophy, INT D, English, and two electives (Human Sexuality and Intimate Relationships) within the first two spring semesters of university. So I technically only have Research and my Nursing courses to contend with -- don't have to deal with the bullshit courses and shitty papers that my peers have to deal with (I ended up with a goldmine PoliSci prof at Grant MacEwan this spring).

Regardless, the week is finally over. I feel fairly good for all the finals that I wrote. It's funny, I pulled an all nighter for my first final and my mind was so slow that it literally took me at least 1 minute per question - to process and select an answer for each multiple choice question on the exam. I remember finishing the first 20 MC questions, and looking up at the clock - 24 minutes had gone by. I was like, "Jeeesssuuss, my mind is slow as fuck today."

But the funny thing is, as tired as I was, I left that exam fairly confident. I walked out and was talking to a couple of my friends, and some passing nursing students were definitely all about the "FML. I AM SO EFFED" comments.

Speaking of nursing, I did fairly dece on the Tutorial Assessment Guide (TAG) that each student is supposed to submit at the end of the class to determine a portion of your grade. You essentially pimp yourself out in this 3 page document to justify a mark you attempt to give yourself.

There are three sections - self directed learning, group process, and critical thinking. Each section is out of 4 - therefore, the entire thing is out of 12. However, if you don't want to be a complete douchebag and not have your tutor critically raise an eyebrow in the expression, "Hell no you don't," the most you're ever going to give yourself is a 3.5.

If you actually gave yourself a 4, you must be the new-age Florence Nightingale, or no one in your class liked you at all. I just think it's really aggravating to know that getting a 12/12 works so hard psychologically against you. You can't ever justify to yourself that "Oh man, I definitely deserve a 4" because you always know something you could have personally improved in yourself. If the tutor gave you a 4 on her own, you would be like, "Hell yeah, bitches! I'm the best." I ended up giving myself a 3.5 on the first two, and a 3 on critical thinking for the sake of modesty.

FOR THE SAKE OF MODESTY. lkjsakdjhsljg. The teacher approved it, and bam. There's my grade.

God, sometimes I really wonder if I would have been better off at Grant MacEwan. University now, thank you very much.

ERROEROROOROR

WOW IS SCHOOL DONE YET? Clinical hasn't even started and I'm already slightly dreading it. Then again, everyone dreads clinical when it starts, and then the count down begins until its over. Needless to say, I will be super poor, due to the fact that I will not be working during the duration of the upcoming six weeks dedicated to application of nursing skill life.

Blargh.

I also noticed that the header for this blog is WRONG. And it has been wrong from day one. I am silly. It's not "seejackierun [at] blogspot [dot] com," but rather, "seejackierun [dot] blogspot [dot] com."

I'll pretend I'll never have noticed it so I can suppress the urge to Photoshop a new layout for this blog.

Hide and seek...

Mmmm whatcha say,
Mmm that you only meant well?
well of course you did
Mmmm whatcha say,
Mmmm that it's all for the best?
of course it is
Mmmm whatcha say?
Mmmm that it's just what we need
you decided this
whatcha say?
Mmmm what did she say?

Computer Blues

So.

I've been heavily researching laptops for the last month. A thread/note on facebook that I posted on personal inquiries about my friends' preferences in laptops and, most importantly, why they felt their choice was superior, is currently a 45+ reply quasi-heated debate mostly circulating around the benefits of MAC vs. PC. The timeless debate among the geeks.

I've decided to go with a Mac Book Pro - 13.3 inch laptop.

However, for the longest time, I considered picking up a netbook specifically for the reason of its reduced functionality. Mostly revolving around the reasoning that I wasted a shit load of time doing all the fancy shit my super-hard core 17.5" desktop laptop - that I was toting around on my scolitic back - could do.

Eventually it blew up because I abused it ridiculously... and my grades skyrocketed following its death.

I spent all of 2nd year doing all the material for my courses that needed a computer from a brand new 24" screen, Core 2 Quad 2.4GHz, 3GB RAM desktop PC (named Hitsugaya) at home. Needless to say, this baby also was an endless source of procrastination via videos, Photoshop, facebook.

Again, my grades were affected. Fucking technology.

So I heavily considered the netbook. They had caught my attention about three years ago, but they were so shitty then that they weren't really worth looking at. They gradually started getting a little better, and something that limited my work to only 1) Word, 2) internet, and 3) basic IM capabilities suddenly sounded appealing.

The fact that I can't plug into Photoshop for 5 hours doing mindless editing, or be tempted to PC gaming (although I've truly tried to avoid that altogether), and just have shitty RAM and a shitty graphics card seemed tempting. Strange, but that truly was my thought process.

Then,

all my geek-techno-gamer-nerd friends called my stupid for even considering a netbook. Thanks, guys.

Why? Because it was so shitty. And it's true. But that's what a sort of wanted to limit myself and prevent myself from getting into distracting, procrastinating shit that a more awesome laptop would allow me to do.

Unfortunately, a Mac Book Pro is about $1000 out of my budget (ie: I am so poor you don't want to see the balance on my bank account).

Why? Because my job at Tip Top Tailors is the first actual $/hour job I've had in three years (since STOKES, lollercaust). And I've only been there for about a month. And I refuse to mooch this off my parents. I'm trying to move away, not continue to be the overgrown leech festering off of them.

Also, through some way, shape or form (/cough MAC Cosmetics Invite Only Event), I managed to spend my entire first paycheck without realizing it.

So really, a $400 netbook is the best thing for me to consider for the moment. It's economical, logical, and the best choice for me to concentrate on if I am only buying a laptop with the purpose to help me through school.

HOWEVER. Within the next year or two, I will be making a Mac Book Pro purchase.

And it will be beautiful. ;)

Sort of related, but not really.

The Sims 3

I've never been that intrigued by the SIMS (PC). The concept of creating and controlling the life and times of virtual characters has its novelty in the beginning, but I've never had the compulsive addiction or urge to immerse myself completely in creating and manufacturing a world of my choice that doesn't have any real impact on how my own life is carried out.

Mostly because I feel I'm too nice to my characters.

I like to make them the best they can be, make them hook up with as many people as I can, but feel fairly anxious when watch them set the kitchen on fire. In all actuality, I mostly prefer making and designing the characteristic traits, and putting as much shit as I can possible afford into the house -- but actually playing with the things? I get bored with them very easily.

I much prefer to read the enactments of others. Most lately, Alice and Kev, a girl and her ignorant father that live the life in the SIMS as homeless characters.

I laugh when I hear about my friend who stuck her SIM in a room with no windows and doors for days and made them cry, pee in the corner, and die in this godforsaken (can you be godforsaken in a virtual world?) concept.

Sure, I laugh. Then I question their psychological state of being.

I guess the reason I've never really gotten into the SIMS like I have with other video games is the lack of discernible plot. I prefer to test out the established stories and plot lines rather than create my own.

I guess that's why my interest in video game development has always been heavily emphasized on development and marketing. Assessing the quality of the game itself in terms of graphic and story line -- specifically, character development, plot line, plot holes, and fluidity of life parallels that you could possibly draw.

I find that an interesting conclusion about myself - as I've always loved to read and create story. I wonder why it doesn't translate to the same extent in a more 3-D environment...


On another note? Ben Heck. What a dreamboat. http://benheck.com/

Hey, Bastard. Believe me, I know.

What you have and know who know should not define who you are.

Holy shit, Mill Woods.

EDMONTON — An armed robber shot himself dead outside a Mill Woods liquor store Thursday morning after shooting and killing a worker at a nearby spa.

Police say the man entered the Bella Tonic spa on Millbourne Road at about 10 a.m., pulled out a handgun and demanded money. When an employee confronted him, the man fired the weapon, fatally wounding the employee.

Minutes later, the man appeared again at a liquor store five blocks away, said spokesman Jeff Wuite. He robbed the store and left by the front door. When he saw police outside he apparently shot himself.

Amanda Gill, an employee at Bella Tonic, arrived for work at 11:30 and was shocked to find police tape.

“I just got back from a trip last night,” she said. “It’s a good thing I didn’t start at 10.”

Gill said the salon has been owned by Nina Bains and her husband for about the last six years. It’s a family business, she said, and Bains’s husband and son work inside.

“I’m just in shock right now,” she said.

Tamara, who used to work at Bella Tonic, identified a woman crying outside as Nina Bains. Tamara asked that her last name not be used.

In the aftermath of the first shooting, two nearby schools were locked down.

More than 400 students at St. Elizabeth Elementary and St. Hilda Junior High were kept inside for about half an hour as police raced to secure the scene.

Students at the school will be sent home with letters explaining what happened, said Catholic School Board spokeswoman Lori Nagy.

The lockdown started at about 10:30 a.m. and was over by 11 a.m., Nagy said.

Workers at a nearby day care also locked their doors after the shooting.

“We were terrified and my heart is still thumping,” said Indira Saroya, the co-owner of Shiva Day Care. “How many innocent people have to die? My heart goes out to the family.”

Saroya said the 40 children inside the day care didn’t understand what was happening.

After the shooting, an injured man left the spa and staggered into the Medicine Shoppe pharmacy next door, said Gusharan Buttar, who was at the scene. Hours later police were still inside that store.

At Millbourne Liquor five blocks away, a forensics unit was examining the scene at around 1 p.m.

A table sat propped up in front of the entrance, blocking the view of the body still lying out front.

A security guard inside the nearby Safeway said a woman ran into the store at about 10:15 a.m. and told him police needed them to lock their doors right away.

Tactical officers soon appeared in the parking lot outside, said Andy Zayat.

“You could see them running around with the guns drawn,” he said. “They looked sort of confused.”

Police have only identified the dead men as adult males.

Mayor Stephen Mandel said his thoughts go out to the family of the slain man.

"We have become a violent society. You don't change violence overnight. You change it by dealing with families, youth, kids, fetal-alcohol problems," said Mandel, who created a task force last September that's due to come up with a 10-year plan for community safety by June.

"It's a long-reaching solution — the challenge is to change the violent nature of society."

hi.

HIATUS.

Until clinical is done.

kthxbai.

QUEST CREW ftw.

They deserved it.

Week 7 Hip Hop Decathlon Challenge:

Required incorporation: 1) threading, 2) tutting, 3) waving, 4) housing and 5) krumping. They killed every single effing section, mannnnnn.

Hok's tutting section? D-trix's air flares on his elbows? Hirano tearing his shirt off?! Steve's hand-free backflip starting from a sitting Indian position? Oh, baby.


Special "OrQUESTra" dance:


Watch it while you can. Youtube moderators are a bitch.