Bienvenue.

This blog is a very tiny window into my blogging life. A narrow, frosted window; the kind you usually see at the dentist's office to shield from view the impending torture slowly deviating toward your mouth.

Unfortunately, most of my blogging content is too personal to put up publicly, and I feel bad because 99.9% of the people I mention it to won't ever have access to it. So I made a public blog. It has resulted in the debacle that is this account - a superficial outpouring in humorously obscure, skewed ways.

Monday, December 15, 2008

Hell & Finals

I was reading Lori's blog, and found this. The inner nerd in myself also finds great pleasure in the combination of scientific bull shit combined with religious jargon:


Dr. Schambaugh, of the University of Oklahoma School of Chemical Engineering, Final Exam question for May of 1997. Dr. Schambaugh is known for asking questions such as, "why do airplanes fly?" on his final exams. His one and only final exam question in May 1997 for his Momentum, Heat and Mass Transfer II class was: "Is hell exothermic or endothermic? Support your answer with proof."

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law or some variant. One student, however, wrote the following:

"First, We postulate that if souls exist, then they must have some mass. If they do, then a mole of souls can also have a mass. So, at what rate are souls moving into hell and at what rate are souls leaving? I think we can safely assume that once a soul gets to hell, it will not leave.

Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for souls entering hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Some of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, then you will go to hell. Since there are more than one of these religions and people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all people and souls go to hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in hell to increase exponentially.

Now, we look at the rate of change in volume in hell. Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in hell to stay the same, the ratio of the mass of souls and volume needs to stay constant. Two options exist:

1. If hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter hell, then the temperature and pressure in hell will increase until all hell breaks loose.
2. If hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until hell freezes over.

So which is it? If we accept the quote given to me by Theresa Manyan during Freshman year, "that it will be a cold night in hell before I sleep with you" and take into account the fact that I still have NOT succeeded in having sexual relations with her, then Option 2 cannot be true...Thus, hell is exothermic."

The student, Tim Graham, got the only A.



And speaking about finals and souls, Nursing has drained my life. I've technically only got two finals, but the clinical portion is a whole exam in itself. Tomorrow's my lab final (the one that got canceled in October) and I've barely dented the required material. I did pretty well, I think, on the final I wrote this morning, so I'm still in okay studying mode -- but I'm really restless. I gotta huddle in recluse somewhere and finally play more than the three hours I've invested into Mirror's Edge because the antsy anticipation is killing me.

I can't wait till the break starts. I can finally start working out again (I haven't since clinical started -- 7 weeks ago) and be progressively on the way to complaining about almost-getting butch arms (I'm far far from attaining that status, despite what comes out of my mouth). And my video games. And my books. Oh man, I can't wait till tomorrow is over...

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