Bienvenue.

This blog is a very tiny window into my blogging life. A narrow, frosted window; the kind you usually see at the dentist's office to shield from view the impending torture slowly deviating toward your mouth.

Unfortunately, most of my blogging content is too personal to put up publicly, and I feel bad because 99.9% of the people I mention it to won't ever have access to it. So I made a public blog. It has resulted in the debacle that is this account - a superficial outpouring in humorously obscure, skewed ways.

Friday, October 23, 2009

OCD.



I just finished really studying mood and anxiety disorders.

Seeing a caring thought like this actually warms my heart.

Nursing: everything you see within its realm will change the world perspective for you.

Very bad, bad poety, last final, and woo nursing.

I have slept on the couches in the Student's Union Building (SUB) twice this week. I have pulled one all-nighter, and one semi-all-nighter for the end of my 6W1 finals. Showers are the greatest thing ever.

Why do I always do this shit to myself? Fucking procrastinating the hell out of everything related to school. Like, I'm supposed to be taking a full course load this year, but I managed to already take the required PoliSci, Philosophy, INT D, English, and two electives (Human Sexuality and Intimate Relationships) within the first two spring semesters of university. So I technically only have Research and my Nursing courses to contend with -- don't have to deal with the bullshit courses and shitty papers that my peers have to deal with (I ended up with a goldmine PoliSci prof at Grant MacEwan this spring).

Regardless, the week is finally over. I feel fairly good for all the finals that I wrote. It's funny, I pulled an all nighter for my first final and my mind was so slow that it literally took me at least 1 minute per question - to process and select an answer for each multiple choice question on the exam. I remember finishing the first 20 MC questions, and looking up at the clock - 24 minutes had gone by. I was like, "Jeeesssuuss, my mind is slow as fuck today."

But the funny thing is, as tired as I was, I left that exam fairly confident. I walked out and was talking to a couple of my friends, and some passing nursing students were definitely all about the "FML. I AM SO EFFED" comments.

Speaking of nursing, I did fairly dece on the Tutorial Assessment Guide (TAG) that each student is supposed to submit at the end of the class to determine a portion of your grade. You essentially pimp yourself out in this 3 page document to justify a mark you attempt to give yourself.

There are three sections - self directed learning, group process, and critical thinking. Each section is out of 4 - therefore, the entire thing is out of 12. However, if you don't want to be a complete douchebag and not have your tutor critically raise an eyebrow in the expression, "Hell no you don't," the most you're ever going to give yourself is a 3.5.

If you actually gave yourself a 4, you must be the new-age Florence Nightingale, or no one in your class liked you at all. I just think it's really aggravating to know that getting a 12/12 works so hard psychologically against you. You can't ever justify to yourself that "Oh man, I definitely deserve a 4" because you always know something you could have personally improved in yourself. If the tutor gave you a 4 on her own, you would be like, "Hell yeah, bitches! I'm the best." I ended up giving myself a 3.5 on the first two, and a 3 on critical thinking for the sake of modesty.

FOR THE SAKE OF MODESTY. lkjsakdjhsljg. The teacher approved it, and bam. There's my grade.

God, sometimes I really wonder if I would have been better off at Grant MacEwan. University now, thank you very much.

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

ERROEROROOROR

WOW IS SCHOOL DONE YET? Clinical hasn't even started and I'm already slightly dreading it. Then again, everyone dreads clinical when it starts, and then the count down begins until its over. Needless to say, I will be super poor, due to the fact that I will not be working during the duration of the upcoming six weeks dedicated to application of nursing skill life.

Blargh.

I also noticed that the header for this blog is WRONG. And it has been wrong from day one. I am silly. It's not "seejackierun [at] blogspot [dot] com," but rather, "seejackierun [dot] blogspot [dot] com."

I'll pretend I'll never have noticed it so I can suppress the urge to Photoshop a new layout for this blog.

Wednesday, October 7, 2009

Hide and seek...

Mmmm whatcha say,
Mmm that you only meant well?
well of course you did
Mmmm whatcha say,
Mmmm that it's all for the best?
of course it is
Mmmm whatcha say?
Mmmm that it's just what we need
you decided this
whatcha say?
Mmmm what did she say?