This blog is a very tiny window into my blogging life. A narrow, frosted window; the kind you usually see at the dentist's office to shield from view the impending torture slowly deviating toward your mouth.

Unfortunately, most of my blogging content is too personal to put up publicly, and I feel bad because 99.9% of the people I mention it to won't ever have access to it. So I made a public blog. It has resulted in the debacle that is this account - a superficial outpouring in humorously obscure, skewed ways.

Sunday, December 7, 2008

James Bond incites strange thoughts...

I'm always a big fan of the movies and books that, despite the fiction based background it becomes set in, it always parallels real life and emotion in some sort of way. I love the story has a moral that you can ground into your personal philosophy, or at least one that you can contemplate over and decide whether or not it is applicable in any way, shape or form in which you live your life.

There's a part of me that abhors Disney to a point (maybe there was a reason I didn't watch a lot of those cartoons as a kid) because of this. Disney is so full of crap sometimes. I much prefer Japanese anime in terms of the story lines they deliver -- they're much more life applicable most of the time (because well, you can only dig around Bleach for so many morals before you're pulling them out of your ass).

Take for example The Girl Who Leapt Through Time. What a marvelous ending. Not the happily ever after, but the sad truth that life doesn't magic into being what you wish could come true. That while extenuating circumstances do exist, there's no fairy godmother that's going to make you a Swarovski-envying diamond ballgown.

Considering how optimistic I usually am in terms of life, I guess its a surprising contrast to see that I love the tragic ending. The endings where someone dies. Where there is betrayal. Where there is the self-sacrificing virtuous person that fucks up everyone else's happy ending thinking that they're doing the right thing, but in reality, because they died, they've doomed everyone they're leaving behind to a semi-miserable existence because they can't live without her/him. Those fucked up endings? Absolutely love them.

I believe the person that you believe you will fall in love with in your mind truly exists somewhere in this world -- but the likelihood of you ever finding them is nil to none. However, have hope. Because while I believe that certain someone exists somewhere, a person is always compatible with many others.

However, I believe in working for love. I believe that relationships are something that you have to fight to keep, to maintain. The reason I love the Kushiel Legacy series so much is because this is a relationship that gets thrown through the fucking hardest of all freaking trials physically, and doesn't break. But when they're put through the emotional turbine, the couple shatters. But then they work to make it through it all, because despite all their differences ideologically, life wise, and everything else, they truly love each other in spite of it all and try to make it work. I won't say much on it considering I've convinced a few people on my F-list to read it soon, but it truly is an amazing trial of lives to read.

I took a lot away from it, and believe me, the fact that its fiction takes nothing away from its amazing parallels to human relationships.


How this relates to James Bond:

Vesper is someone he finally took a chance on and decided to love, giving her what he regarded as "what was left of his soul," considering his line of work had most likely wreaked havoc on what he considered a strong moral conscience. However, he believes she betrays him to the bad guys by giving them the $150 million that he won, and consequently, she ends up dying by choice after locking herself in an elevator and drowning to her doom.

Considering James Bond had just retired for her, and wanted to possibly spend the remainder of his life with her, he got severely fucked over in the head because:

a) he is a playboy, and actually taking the time to love someone probably didn't come easy to him.
b) of all the ways to ever be betrayed, it was to the terrorists over $150 million.
c) he probably has never taken that chance on anyone before, and will probably never again.

THEN he found out she didn't really betray him, but actually negotiated his safety when they got kidnapped and he got stripped and hit repeatedly in the balls with an iron ball.

So she wilingly went with him after all that, after him telling her that he "loved her," and willingly took the remainder of his soul, and effectively, with her death, killed that remaining part of him as well.

Poor guy.

I think that's why I liked this Casino Royale/Quantum of Solace series so much. Because at the end of it all, the reality of it all hits much harder at home than if they had just gotten their happily ever after.

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