Obsessions from 2008 that Need to Be Put Down with a Gun

TWILIGHT

• I will admit that Twilight is a decent book series. It has a plot line that makes sense (except for that effed up pregnancy in the 4th book - bad move, Meyer), characters that uh, develop, sort of, and an interesting cast within the book.
• The movie sucked, but it had its entertainment value.
• But if you've ever read fanfiction, this series is basically a big fat fanfiction series. I get that the characters are appealing as most teens probably have never been exposed to that genre of novella before, but it's fanbase should generally be from the preteen to teen level. When I see 35 year old women hot for Edward Cullen, there's something sort of wrong in the world. Then again, who am I to talk? I fully support 50 year old geezers that love comic books.
• Really, when it comes down to it though, overly exuberant Twilight fangirls piss me off. As a fangirl for many other things, for me to say that is sort of hypocritical. But then again, I hate overly exuberant fangirls for other genres as well. Exuberant I can deal with -- the cosplay, the shrines, the half-hearted stalking of actors/voice actors. "Overly exuberant" is what I classify women who contemplate attaching metal limbs onto themselves because they love Full Metal Alchemist.
• I'm not one to hate on the literature though. I fully support the Twilight fanbase as reading this series can capapult others into the world of literature, reading, and fanfiction; three things I love and will never stop loving. But the fact is Twilight is not the shit; it is merely a morsel of fecal contamination. If you want some awesome "the shit" books, go read some Anne Rice or something. There are way better vampire books out there.

PENIS JOKES

• I once spent an entire afternoon listening to guys make penis jokes. Believe me, vagina jokes only go so far as well.
• My advice is for you to Google some jokes that reference things in history, cinema, or literature. Not only will it make you feel self important that you can reference Ophelia's drowning to relate some sad romance you know going on with your friend, but everyone else who understands will think of you as an intellectual.
• Disclaimer: ration these jokes only for when the need arises. The overuse of such jokes only has the tendency to have others label you as "GIANT DOUCHBAG".
• Note: The use of word "lollercaust" only goes so far.

"NO-HOMO"

• If you use it in every sentence, you're really gay. Stop denying it, and embrace it. I have a friend, and he's single.